Dance of the Dragonflies

Every afternoon, when the sun finally comes out–yes, it’s like that in the Northwest–a group of dragonflies take flight in my backyard. I sit on the swing and watch them fly in a million directions against the blue sky. It’s beautiful.

It got me thinking and wondering about dragonflies and what exactly they symbolize, so I, like all of us these days, googled it.

They represent change overall, and change that goes beyond life circumstances to a deeper, more mature understanding of life. In other words, go deep. They can move in all six directions and eat while in flight. They are graceful and agile.

One of the sights,, talks about their iridescent wings and body and their ability to show themselves in different colors from various angles.

“This property is seen and believed as the end of one’s self created illusions and a clear vision into the realities of life… also associated with the discovery of one’s own abilities by unmasking the real self and removing the doubts one casts on his/her own sense of identity. This again indirectly means self-discovery and removal of inhibitions.”

I don’t know about you, but I’ve got a ton of self-created illusions keeping me from God’s best for me. And I don’t necessarily want nor need a vision into the realities of this life according to the world; rather, I desire a clear vision into God’s reality for my life.

A while back, as I was struggling to find validation as a writer, a friend told me that I didn’t need validation, that I am a writer already validated by God. But here I am, still attempting to produce proof that I am a writer. Yesterday I was going through old papers and came across a couple of journal entries where I talked about the freedom I found in writing.

My job search is not going so well. I am haunted by self-imposed doubts about my dubious work history of 37 jobs.

The fact of the matter is I could use a bit of dragonfly dancing. I’m ready for a change in perspective, to be courageous and agile. I am ready to unmask who I truly am, a daughter of the King, and embrace what He has for me, no matter what that is.

I will write. That is who I am. It feeds my soul and hopefully my words encourage and strengthen others. And through my writing I will dance with the dragonflies.

And so I ask, who are you? What self-imposed doubts are clouding the vision of who you are in Christ? Is it time for you to dance with the dragonflies?

Soul Victories

Today another delay in an area of my life where I want to move out of the stagnate pool I’ve been stuck in for so long. And of course, I am irritated. Exhausted with waiting.

It may sound strange, but I don’t know if this new delay is from God or Satan.  It doesn’t really matter. Either way, my attitude marks whose side it is used for.  And with this realization, my mind whirls with how often my attitudes, behaviors and reactions to life circumstances big and small generally tend to go against glorifying God and instead working for the cause of the enemy of my soul.

But even if just once I can stop in the moment, look past the questions and turn to my Shepherd to accept the circumstance, then I have a soul victory. It very well may be a tiny one. Still it is a soul victory.  Whereas our culture likes to focus on tangible victories, ones that can be seen and or measured, Christ watches for soul victories. Invisible to the eye. Yet incredibly visible to El Roi–the God who sees.

Soul victories are powerful. They are all about praising while the storm rages around you. They are moments of calm consideration amidst a torrent of emotions. They are choices made in the acknowledgment of God’s sovereignty. They are victories that come at the price of selfishness, pride and other iniquities grumbling and rumbling around in our hearts.

Who knows how many soul victories I’ve lost out on. As for the delay today, I declare a soul victory within it.

What circumstance in life is God inviting you to choose a soul victory? Whose side have your attitudes and reactions been supporting?

Wound A’ Dressin’

I don’t like wounds. I was forced last week to remove bandages around a wound I had and I almost passed out. The old dressing was sticking, the wound was uglier than a slug–yes, I’m allowed to say that, I live in the Pacific Northwest–and the new dressing was awkward to put on by myself.

I had a flashback from twenty-nine years ago when I had to pull off the butterfly tape from my open heart surgery at age twelve. I almost passed out then too. I didn’t and don’t like to look at the wound straight on. I would rather avoid it altogether.

Then I realized that most wounds I have had have produced the same reaction. I don’t like pulling off dressing from wounds. Period.

So what if I take this to a spiritual level? I still don’t like wounds. I don’t want to address the issues of the wound and pull off the conformed and protective shell around it which I have dressed the wound with. . . like lies or avoidance or pride or  whatever sin I can hide behind in order to keep from addressing the real issue of my wound.

Pulling off the initial dressings almost always involves a greater risk of re-opening the wound. Ugh. In time, the dressing comes off easier, but the wound is still there–ugly and never healing as quickly as I want it to.

But here’s the thing:  wounds, whether physical or spiritual, must be cleaned frequently and aired and protected. And so how do you clean a spiritual wound?

Expose it before Christ, ask His Spirit to clean it, to air it out, not for the world to see and know, but before Him in a sacred place where repentance, forgiveness, mercy and love abound:  in His Presence. Ask Him for a new perspective and wait for Him to breathe on it. Keep it protected until it heals under His touch completely, and then give your testimony as and when He directs.

It seems simple enough, so why don’t I do it more often?

What old or new wounds are you avoiding? What are you gaining by refusing to address and re-dress the wound? What could be released in you by exposing it to the air of God?